Most people land here because their dating profile isn’t getting the response they expect — even though it looks “fine.”
Most people land here because their dating profile isn’t getting the response they expect — even though it looks “fine” on the surface.
First date anxiety can feel like a fire-breathing dragon guarding the door to romance, but the good news? You can slay it. Overcoming first date anxiety is easier when you know what to focus on. Whether it’s your first date in years or your hundredth, those pre-date jitters are perfectly normal. But fear not—we’re here to help you banish the nerves, have fun, and make a great first impression. Here are five expert-approved tips to overcome first date anxiety and actually enjoy yourself.
If you’re looking for a quick and calming way to ease your nerves, check out my Free Guided Affirmations to Calm First Date Nerves. It’s designed to boost your confidence and get you in the right headspace for an enjoyable date.
Here’s a sneak peek of the guided affirmations! Watch this short clip to see how it can help calm your nerves and boost your confidence before your big date:
Surprises are great for birthday parties, but not so much for first dates. Choosing a familiar spot or researching the venue in advance can give you peace of mind. Look up the menu, parking, or dress code—knowledge is confidence!
Staring at your closet 20 minutes before leaving won’t help your nerves. Pick an outfit that makes you feel confident and comfortable the night before. Remember: no one’s judging your shoes as much as you think they are.
You don’t need a script, but having a few go-to questions or topics in mind can ease awkward silences. Think light and fun: “What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken?” or “Seen any good shows lately?” Need more ideas? Check out my Dating Conversation Icebreakers for a curated list of topics to keep the conversation flowing.

If your first date nerves are getting the better of you, my Free Guided Affirmations to Calm First Date Nerves can be a game-changer. It’s a quick, soothing listen that’ll help you relax, refocus, and walk into your date with confidence.
Deep breathing isn’t just for yoga. Before your date, try the 4-7-8 method: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and exhale for 8. It’s like hitting the reset button on your anxiety.
Instead of imagining every possible way the date could go wrong, visualize it going right. Picture yourself laughing, connecting, and having fun—your brain believes what you feed it.
Exercise releases endorphins, which are basically nature’s anti-anxiety meds. Even a 10-minute walk before your date can help calm your mind and body.

First dates aren’t about finding “The One” in a single night. They’re about meeting someone new and seeing if there’s a connection. Keep it casual and take the pressure off.
Chances are, your date is feeling just as anxious as you are. Knowing you’re in the same boat can be oddly comforting—it’s okay to admit you’re a little nervous.
Instead of analyzing every word or gesture, stay present. Laugh at their jokes, enjoy your drink, and remind yourself: it’s just a date, not a life-or-death situation.

A warm smile can instantly ease tension and make both of you feel more at ease. Bonus: it’s scientifically proven to make you appear more attractive.
Got a funny travel mishap or embarrassing moment (that’s not too cringe-worthy)? Sharing a laugh is a great way to build a connection and ease those first-date jitters.
Did you spill water? Trip on the way in? Own it and laugh it off. Self-deprecating humor shows confidence and makes you more relatable.

After your date, take a moment to reflect and unwind with my Free Post-Date Reflection Journal. It’s a great way to gather your thoughts, recognize what went well, and ease any lingering nerves.
Whether it’s grabbing dessert, binge-watching your favorite show, or journaling about the experience, plan something relaxing to look forward to after the date.
Think about what went well and what you’d do differently, but don’t spiral into over-analysis. Every date is a learning experience—not a test. For a structured way to reflect, try my Free Post-Date Reflection Journal to capture your thoughts and insights in a meaningful way.
Even if the date didn’t lead to fireworks, give yourself credit for putting yourself out there. Facing your anxiety is a win all on its own.

First date anxiety might feel overwhelming, but with these five tips, you’ll be well-equipped to handle it like a champ. Remember to prepare, relax, manage expectations, use humor, and celebrate the effort you’re making. Whether the date leads to a second one or just a funny story, you’re building confidence and moving closer to finding the connection you’re looking for. And hey—at the very least, you’ll have a new experience to laugh about later!
Ready to put these tips into action? Here’s a glimpse of my Free Guided Affirmations to help you start your next date with calm and confidence.
Discover more about mindfulness from Headspace. Learn how affirmations work at Psychology Today.

Hi — I’m Shannon O’Malley.
I’m a Minneapolis-based (soon-to-be Dallas, TX) photographer specializing in online dating profile photography, personal branding portraits, business headshots, and senior sessions. I work with people who want photos that feel natural, confident, and genuinely reflective of who they are — not stiff, overproduced, or performative.
My approach is rooted in natural light, ease, and emotional intelligence. I believe the best photos happen when people feel comfortable enough to be themselves — and seen enough to trust the process. Whether someone is stepping back into dating, refining their professional presence, or marking a meaningful season of life, my goal is always the same: to create images that feel honest and quietly powerful.
With over 15 years of experience behind the camera — and a journey that includes single motherhood, entrepreneurship, and a national CBS feature — I’ve seen firsthand how much impact the right photos can have. A strong image isn’t about vanity. It’s about clarity. It’s often the first impression that shapes how others perceive you — before you ever get the chance to explain yourself.
This blog is where I share insights on photography, visibility, confidence, and showing up with intention — both on and off camera.
When I’m not photographing clients, you’ll usually find me with my husband, my son, and our beautifully blended family — soaking up everyday life here in the Twin Cities (for now). We’ll be relocating to Dallas, Texas in 2026, where I’ll continue offering my signature photography experience for daters, creatives, and business owners throughout the DFW area.
If you’re here because you want photos that actually feel like you, you’re in the right place. I’m glad you found your way here.
January 11, 2025

Twin Cities Online Dating & Branding Photographer
Helping singles feel confident, seen, and chosen.
Serving Minneapolis–St. Paul through Spring 2026
Travel sessions available nationwide • Dallas launching May 2026
Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN
Edina • Eagan • Maple Grove
Woodbury • White Bear Lake & beyond
Dallas–Fort Worth (Launching May 2026)
Trusted by Twin Cities singles using Bumble, Hinge & OurTime
hello@shannonkathleenphotography.com
Twin Cities online dating photographer helping Minneapolis–St. Paul singles create dating photos that work.
As seen on CBS News / WCCO, Bella Grace & Newsbreak
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