Expert Voices on Modern Dating — A Conversation with Dr. Lida Far

Ever stared at your phone mid-swipe and thought, “There has to be a better way to meet people”? You’re absolutely right — and that better way is called the modern matchmaking process. Spoiler alert: it’s got nothing to do with fairy-tale magic, dating algorithms, or your mom’s friend from Pilates.

Today’s matchmaking is intentional, emotionally intelligent, and—most importantly—human. Curious what that really looks like in action? Allow me to introduce Dr. Lida Far—a Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and Relationship & Sex Therapist with a PhD in clinical insight and “I’ve-heard-every-ghosting-story-ever” real-world experience.

In this Expert Voices on Modern Dating series, feature, Lida lifts the curtain on the modern matchmaking process—from how therapy transforms her approach to why your dating profile photos matter more than you’d think (yes, even that blurry wedding selfie from 2018).

Ready to see what it’s actually like to work with a matchmaker?
Grab a snack. Let’s dive in.

Key Takeaways from the Modern Matchmaking Process

• The modern matchmaking process is human-driven, not algorithm-based — think intuition over automation.
• Matchmaking today is intentional, emotionally intelligent, and therapeutic, not a fast-track to “the one.”
• No magic vault of singles — matchmakers often source aligned partners from scratch.
• First impressions matter, especially your dating photos. Authenticity over perfection wins.
• A matchmaker like Dr. Lida Far uses clinical insight + deep understanding of clients to create meaningful matches.
• Modern singles often don’t really know what they want — matchmakers help clarify values and desires.
• The process is best suited for those ready for aligned connection — not casual swiping or quick fixes.
• Dating profiles and photos should reflect your real energy, personality, and lifestyle.
• There are no guarantees — but the process improves your odds through clarity, timing, and thoughtful intros.

What the Modern Matchmaking Process Actually Means

Throughout the years, I’ve seen countless articles and social posts that treat matchmaking like a fairy‑tale montage: swirl of champagne, perfect lighting, “meet your soulmate.” But the real truth? The Modern Matchmaking Process is far more grounded. It’s thoughtful, intentional, and human.

If you’ve ever muttered to your phone in frustration — “There has to be a better way to meet people” — you’re absolutely on the right track.

This Isn’t Push-Button Love — It’s Therapy-Backed Matchmaking

Working with someone like Dr. Lida Far — therapist, dating coach, relationship & sex therapist — you realize: this isn’t a swipe-and-hope situation. It’s built on insight, emotional patterns, and relational timing. Dr. Far explains:

She’s basically saying: this isn’t just matchmaking, this is matchmaking with a master’s degree in “I’ve seen some things.” And let me tell you: the people who come to me for dating photos? They are in this exact stage. They’re not messing around. They want real.

In short: the modern matchmaking process means aligning your values, your timing, your daily life, your patterns — and then making introductions that have a shot. Not a guarantee. A shot.

Myth‑Busting the Modern Matchmaking Process (Because Yes, It’s Not What You Think)

Let’s clear up a few myths, because they hang around like bad décor at a party:

Myth 1: Matchmakers have a basement full of eligible singles, waiting to be matched.
Dr. Far responds:

“That matchmakers have matches on standby and ready to be introduced to clients. While this may sometimes be the case, more often than not, we have to set out to find the types of singles that are aligned with what our client is seeking through our various resources.”

Translation: It’s not “pick from the shelf.” It’s “find the right piece, fit it with your puzzle.”

Myth 2: Matchmaking = magic + instant chemistry.
Dr. Far:

“Matchmaking is not magic. It’s a thoughtful, intentional process driven by me (no algorithms), rooted in getting to know someone deeply, understanding their values, and making aligned introductions.”

“Chemistry is unpredictable, but intentionality and clarity go a long way.”

I’ll add: if you’re looking for a silver bullet, you might be disappointed. But if you’re open to a process, you might find something pretty wonderful.

Myth 3: You’re guaranteed a perfect match overnight.
Dr. Far:

“It takes time to find matches that are aligned and ready to potentially be matched (timing is very important in matchmaking)! Then once we find a potential match and take time to speak to them, that person’s needs may not be aligned with what the client is seeking.”

“For example, a man may be very open to meeting a woman who is 10–15 years younger than him, but a woman may think that age range is too much and may not be interested. There are so many different variables.”

Again: timing, alignment, readiness all matter. Not just “insert profile, presto match.”

What Makes Her Matchmaking Approach Stand Out (And Why You Should Care)

Here’s where Dr. Far’s background shines. She says:

“My education, experience as a therapist along with my insight & knowledge about relationship dynamics and intuition that I have sets me apart from most other matchmakers.”

“I genuinely get to know my clients’ story, background, communication styles, values and how they came to be where they are and how they operate, organize and process in the world, what fulfills them and what ticks them off and what their daily life is like.”

What that means for you: this isn’t just a superficial “tell me your top three hobbies and I’ll send you on a date” approach. This is deep. Real. Maybe even a little confronting (in a good way). Because if you don’t know your patterns, how will someone else match them?

From my vantage point: this kind of approach tells you that matchmakers who “get you” — not just “get you a date” — are rising above the noise. And that makes all the difference.

First Impressions Matter: Why Your Photo Game Is Part of the Modern Matchmaking Process

If you ever wondered how big of a deal your photos are, spoiler: huge. Dr. Far says:

“First impressions count big time and shape our curiosity and interest in meeting the other person.”
“If someone leaves you with a good first impression and you don’t get a chance to speak to them, you will remember them even after an event and possibly even think about them and wish there was a way that you could have had a chance to speak with them — and often ponder over what was a missed chance or encounter.”

“Photos that capture one’s essence of authenticity in their daily life and what the person likes to do, the outfits they choose and how they present themselves can speak volumes — as well as create a desire to get to know the actual person in the photo.”

Let’s break that down so you don’t just nod and move on:

• You don’t need to look “perfect.” You need to look you — someone worth remembering.
• Lifestyle‑shots, natural light, genuine expression > forced selfies in bad lighting.
• The right photo does part of the heavy lifting in the modern matchmaking process — because matchmakers (and potential matches) will see you before they speak with you.

Here’s my take: if you treat your photos like your first handshake rather than a glamour shot… you’ll stand out more. Stand out for the right reasons.

Real-Life Before & After: Matchmaker-Approved Profile Photo Transformations

Want proof that photos speak louder than bios? This real-life photo glow-up show exactly how much first impressions matter — not just for apps, but for matchmakers like Dr. Lida Far to get a genuine sense of you.

Real Questions From the Modern Matchmaking Process (And Her Realer Answers)

Let’s have a little fun with this section — because the questions are good, and Dr. Far’s answers are gold. I’ll riff after each.

What’s the weirdest or most niche request you’ve gotten?

Dr. Far: “People sometimes get very niche in what they’re looking for… The more specific the request, the harder — and sometimes more amusing — the search.”

My commentary: I bet there’s some wild request out there like “must have collection of vintage vinyl records + own a treehouse” — I mean, niche and charming. But the point? Specificity raises the bar. Which is decent if you’re clear, tricky if you’re rigid.

Do people actually know what they want?

Dr. Far: “Many people have a vague idea… but have a hard time going past generic ideas. I help them sort through the ‘shoulds’ and gain clarity on compatibility and what they need to feel content and reasonably fulfilled.”

I will say: this one hits home. Almost everyone thinks they know what they want — until they dig deeper and realise most wants are “I should want this because I’ve been told.” Having someone help you untangle that? Very useful.

What’s a green flag that makes you excited?

Dr. Far: “Sincerity, genuineness, the capacity to be self‑reflective — and of course, flair and sass.”

I chuckle. Flair + sass? Yes please. Because if you can take yourself a little less seriously while still being serious about connection — that’s a win.

Ever know two people would hit it off instantly?

Dr. Far: “Yes. My intuition and experience allow me to articulate their needs — even before they realize them.”

My voice: That’s the matchmaker version of “I saw it coming.” And if someone sees you coming in that way — that’s a big deal.

What makes someone instantly more dateable?

Dr. Far: “Don’t be so afraid of what the other person will think. Be your genuine self — it draws people in.”

I love this. It’s simple. Hard to do. But so rarely done. If you lean into being your “real you” instead of your “ideal you” — you’ll feel better and others will respond.

Modern Matchmaking vs. Dating Apps: What’s Really Different?

If you’ve been stuck in the “endless swipe, ghost, repeat” cycle, this side-by-side breakdown will help clarify what you’re really signing up for — and why the Modern Matchmaking Process might feel like a breath of fresh, human air.

	Dating Apps	Modern Matchmaking
Method	Algorithms	Human insight
Experience	Self-guided	Guided, intentional
First impression	Selfies & swipes (unless you have pro photos!)	Curated photos & coaching
Success factor	Speed & volume	Timing & alignment

Matchmaker‑Approved Profile Tips for Modern Singles

Time for actionable takeaways. Because knowing is one thing, doing is another. Here are some tips that align with the modern matchmaking process.

Photo game:

Dr. Far: “Photos that show your natural style, how you prefer to dress, and what you like to do — preferably in natural or light‑filled settings. Lifestyle photos capturing personality will help show what it would be like to meet you in person.”

My note: Pick one hero shot where you’re doing something you genuinely love (hiking, cooking, laughing with friends). Bonus if you’re looking at the camera and smiling (makes a difference).

Profile text:

Dr. Far: “Vague and generic descriptions that do not describe who you truly are.”

So yes — if your profile says “I love to laugh,” please delete. Replace with something like: “I’m the one who orders the extra spicy wings and then helps you eat them when you regret the order.” More personality. Less placeholder.

Show your real energy:

Dr. Far: “Your photos should reflect you, your interests, and how you want to be seen.”

Here I’ll say: Stop the “professional headshot” on a dating app. Unless you’re auditioning for CEO of your love life. Do a casual shot. Do what you’d do on a real date (not a résumé).

Why the Modern Matchmaking Process Works (Or Why It’s Worth Trying)

Let’s sum this up because you deserve clarity. The reason this style of matchmaking is catching on is:

• Intentionality over randomness. Rather than “throw spaghetti and see what sticks,” this emphasises “let’s know you, then introduce you.”
• Depth over surface. It’s not just about the photo + profile + first date; it’s about values, communication, daily life patterns.
• Human touch over pure tech. No big reliance on algorithms. Human judgment, which means nuance, insight, adaptability.
• Clarity over confusion. Knowing what you want (and why) means fewer wasted dates, fewer mismatches, less energy wasted.

From my vantage: If you’re done with the shallow, the random, the “meh” dates — this offers a meaningful alternative. And yes, it might cost more (time, money, introspection) — but you might get something you actually want.

Wrapping Up the Modern Matchmaking Process

Talking with Dr. Lida Far was like getting permission to value my single‑self, to treat dating not like a chore but like a serious (and slightly fun) project. Her belief in aligned connection — in showing up as you are — was contagious.

Here’s the truth:
The Modern Matchmaking Process isn’t about pushing harder.
It’s about knowing yourself better.
And showing up like you mean it.

If you’re ready to stop swiping aimlessly and start dating with intention, this could be your moment.

Want Dating Photos That Reflect Your Intentions?

No more over‑posing, over‑filtering, or over‑thinking.
Let’s make photos that match the energy you actually want to attract — confident, real, magnetic.
→ See how I do confidence‑based dating photography for high intent singles.

Because let’s be honest: the right swipe starts with how you show up.

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