Expert Voices on Modern Dating: Blaine from Dating by Blaine on Agency, Aha Moments, and Why “Wing It” Doesn’t Work

When it comes to dating in the digital age, let’s be real—it’s a jungle out there. Swipes, likes, ghosting, “situationships,” and a whole lot of confusion. But in my new series, Expert Voices on Modern Dating, I’m cutting through the noise by highlighting the coaches, matchmakers, and experts who are helping people date with more clarity, confidence, and success.

As someone who recently shared insights on modern dating on CBS, I’m absolutely buzzing to dish out these dating coach perspectives.

This week, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Blaine—the wizard behind Dating by Blaine who could probably convince a houseplant to swipe right. She’s the coaching mastermind that helps men dodge the landmines of online dating like a pro, arming them with the skills to tackle everything from awkward small talk to profile pics that don’t look like they were taken in 2005. In our delightful convo, Blaine spills the beans on the must-have mindset shifts, the profile bloopers that make you cringe, and some surprisingly funny dating psychology nuggets that lead to real results, making your dating life less of a circus and more of a charming stroll through the park.

Feeling uncertain about how modern dating apps like Bumble operate?
You’re not alone in this journey. Explore this heartfelt guide to Bumble and dating success in 2025 to find support and insight.

“You Are 100% Responsible”: Blaine on Ownership in Modern Dating

Me: What’s something you wish more people understood about modern dating?

Blaine’s message couldn’t be clearer: dating is a skill, not a lottery. So, put down those scratch-off tickets and grab your practice suit! It might sound like you’re training for the Olympics, but think about it—it’s actually empowering! If you’re the one in charge, then you’re also the one who can upgrade your dating game from ‘swing and miss’ to ‘dating superstar’!

Think of it like any other area of life—career, fitness, finances. You don’t wing your way to success in those, right? The same goes for dating. If you treat your dating life like an afterthought, it’s no surprise when it doesn’t evolve.

Want to show up more proactively? Start here:

• Audit your current efforts. How often are you engaging on apps with intention—not just because you’re avoiding that pile of laundry or pretending to listen to your cat’s life story?
• Schedule “dating time.” Just like a workout or work project, commit to 20 focused minutes a day reviewing profiles, sending quality messages, or updating your own.
• Set micro-goals. Try initiating three thoughtful conversations this week or tweaking one part of your profile.
• Track what’s working. Notice what kinds of messages get replies or what prompts lead to better chats.

Taking ownership doesn’t mean blaming yourself—it means taking the wheel. And as Blaine reminds us, that shift from passive to purposeful can change everything.

Online Dating Profile Mistakes Men Make (And How to Fix Them)

Me: What’s one mistake you often see (especially men) making in their profiles or early conversations?

Blaine: “The biggest mistake men make dating online is failing to invest enough effort into crafting a quality profile. The bar is lower than most guys realize, but uploading 6x photos from your camera roll at random, and winging your bio / prompts, is a recipe for loneliness and frustration. Marketing yourself successfully requires thoughtful, deliberate work. Most guys are capable of crafting an attractive profile, but it requires effort and know-how. You should invest in professional photos for example! But even professional photos are just one piece of the larger puzzle that is online dating today.”

Let’s be honest: your dating profile is your storefront—and people are window shopping. If your pics look like they were taken during a blackout or are a collection of blurry blob selfies from 2010, you’re practically giving them a “keep scrolling” button!

For guys looking for online dating tips for men, Blaine’s advice is clear: show up with intention. That means using well-lit photos that reflect your personality and lifestyle—not just your face. Whether it’s grabbing a coffee, working out, or walking your dog, these images tell a story before anyone reads your bio.

If you’ve been wondering how to improve your dating app profile, start by asking: does it reflect who I actually am—or just what I think will get likes?

Take my client Brandon’s session, for example. One of my favorites? A relaxed, natural shot of him at a coffee shop—smiling, mid-convo, light streaming in. Another? A candid workout photo that feels confident, not posed. These aren’t about showing off—they’re about showing up as someone people can imagine spending time with.

And don’t stop at visuals. Write a bio that actually tells a story—one that invites curiosity and connection. Instead of saying, “I love travel and food,” try something like, “Last month, I took a wrong turn in a Tokyo alley and accidentally joined a ramen cult. 10/10 would recommend the noodles; the initiation was a little weird, though.” That kind of detail builds intrigue and personality faster than you can say ‘extra chopsticks!’

In short: your profile should look and feel like a preview of real life with you—fun, clear, and worth swiping right on.

• 🎯 Want dating photos that actually get results?
  My approach to dating profile photography is about more than a good headshot—it’s about helping you feel confident, magnetic, and completely yourself. Think natural light, real personality, and scroll-stopping visuals.
  👉 Book a session with me or view the portfolio

• 💡 Plus, check out my free Resources page for tools like the Post-Date Reflection Journal, dating photography tips, and confidence-building guides.

What Women Actually Want: The Dating Mindset Shift That Changes Everything – Insights from Expert Voices on Modern Dating

Me: When someone starts working with you, what’s one mindset shift or “aha” moment you love seeing happen?

Blaine: “The aspect of my coaching work that I enjoy the most — and leads to the most ‘aha’ moments — is around dating psychology. Many of my coaching clients have misperceptions about what women want, and what it takes to attract a quality partner today. Some think it’s about money, or professional success, or looks. Sure those things matter in dating, but they don’t matter nearly as much as being authentic, showing up as your best self, and learning to really listen.”

So what do women really want? Forget about grabbing a job title or hitting that elusive 6’2” mark—what they really crave is presence, kindness, and a curious mind. They’re looking for a guy who can actually listen instead of launching into his own “Oscar-worthy” monologue. That’s the magical transformation Blaine guides her clients through—and let me tell you, it usually ends up sparking conversations so deep you’ll need scuba gear (and, spoiler alert, better dates too!).

👀 And yes, I know apps now ask for your height upfront. Which means… you don’t have to lead with it in your bio anymore. Let your character—not your centimeters—do the talking.

Here’s how to lean into that mindset:

• Stop performing, start connecting. Be honest about who you are. No need to list every accomplishment—just show up sincerely.
• Listen more than you speak. Ask open-ended questions, and actually respond to her answers (no “cool lol” replies).
• Ditch the “alpha” script. Confidence doesn’t mean dominating the conversation. It means being secure enough to care.

Bonus move? Try flipping the script. Instead of trying to impress, get curious. Ask her what lights her up lately. What she’s reading. Where she wants to travel next. It creates way more chemistry than flexing your job title.

The men who grasp this? They tend to stand out quickly. Why? Because most aren’t doing this work—and women notice when you are.

• 💡 Looking for a tool to help you reflect after each date and actually grow from it?
  • Try my Post-Date Reflection Journal — a quick, no-pressure way to process your experience and learn from each interaction.

The Kind of Guy Blaine Loves Coaching (Spoiler: It Might Be You)

Me: Who is your work really for — like the kind of client you’re most passionate about helping?

Blaine: “This is a great question. I work with guys from many different backgrounds, as I’d imagine you do too. The clients I feel most passionate about helping are guys who have their personal and professional lives together, and are ready for dating to catch up. They know they should be experiencing better outcomes with women, but feel stuck diagnosing what’s wrong and solving the problem. These guys tend to get great results from my programs, and I love helping them, especially because women love meeting these guys once they’ve made a few small changes!”

If your life looks fabulous on paper but your dating life resembles a bad sitcom—it’s not you, it’s your game plan! Time to upgrade from ‘Netflix and Cry’ to ‘Netflix and NAIL IT!’

Blaine works with high-achieving men who are used to solving problems in other parts of their lives… except this one. The truth? Often, it’s just a few tweaks away from working.

Here’s what that transformation usually includes:

• Self-awareness tune-up: Understanding your dating patterns and beliefs that might be holding you back.
• Communication refresh: Learning how to be engaging, respectful, and flirty without being awkward or robotic.
• Profile makeover: Making sure your digital first impression supports the real, grounded person you are offline.

If you’re thinking “I don’t get it—I should be killing it out here,” this is the shift that unlocks results.

Where to Find Blaine from Expert Voices on Modern Dating (Trust Me, You’ll Want to Follow Her)

Blaine: “My website is the best place to get in touch, and my Instagram is a great place to get a sense for my message and communication style.”

👉 Visit Blaine’s Website
👉 Follow her on Instagram

Her content is smart, stylish, and refreshingly BS-free. Whether you’re actively dating or just trying to figure out what’s next, Blaine’s insights and online dating tips for men will make you think—and laugh—and then think again.

Expert Voices on Modern Dating: Take Back Control of Your Dating Life

Blaine’s philosophy is as straightforward as a rubber chicken in a serious board meeting: dating improves the moment you decide to treat it like it’s more than just a light snack. Show up like you actually care, put in the effort like you’re trying to impress your mom, and for the love of all things romantic, ditch those default photos—you know you have better ones hiding in that camera roll OR hire a professional. Ask questions that don’t make you sound like a malfunctioning robot, and above all—own your experience like it’s the last cookie in the jar!

If dating has felt like a game you don’t know how to win, Blaine’s here to remind you: the rules aren’t rigged. You just need the right coach.

📚 Resources for the Intentional Dater
Browse my free resource library to find tools that support confident dating, profile success, and post-date clarity.

What’s Coming Next in the Series?

More honest convos, more powerful insights. I’m talking to therapists, matchmakers, and even style coaches in future editions of Expert Voices on Modern Dating. Hit subscribe below or check back soon—you won’t want to miss what’s next.

Hosting Expert Voices on Modern Dating has given me the chance to learn from top coaches like Blaine—and share those lessons beyond the blog. I recently appeared on CBS to talk about these exact shifts in dating, and I can’t wait to bring even more expert insights your way.

FAQs