Confident dating tips aren’t just about striking a pose or crafting the perfect opener—they’re about owning your worth from swipe to IRL spark.
Hi, I’m Shannon O’Malley, a Twin Cities-based dating photographer and founder of Shannon Kathleen Photography. I specialize in helping singles show up with confidence online—because your first impression shouldn’t be a blurry car selfie. My work has been featured on CBS and a dozen other news outlets, and I’ve helped hundreds of clients feel confident and seen in their dating profiles.
This post is part of my Expert Voices on Modern Dating blog series—where I spotlight standout coaches, matchmakers, and dating pros who are changing how we approach connection in 2025 (and beyond).
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Ever spend hours mindlessly swiping, only to realize you’ve matched with three gym selfies, a guy holding a fish, and—somehow—a cat?
Yep, modern dating can feel like a chaotic reality show. That’s where Carla Romo comes in. She’s a Certified Dating & Relationship Coach (and author of Swipe Match Spark), who cuts through the algorithm madness with humor, heart, and a whole lot of clarity—and yes, some of the best confident dating tips you’ll find this side of the internet.
Carla’s been the go-to guide for over 1,000 singles around the world—helping them shift from swiping frantically to dating deliberately. Her secret sauce? A potent mix of confidence-boosting mindset work, swipe-worthy profile strategies, and blunt-but-kind dating truths that’ll slap you straight out of the matrix.
Let’s dive into her insights—from reclaiming your worth in a carousel of faces to trusting your gut when that awkward coffee date is more cringey than cute.
“I’m based in the U.S. (virtually!) and coach clients internationally through 1:1 coaching, my signature guide Swipe Match Spark: The Ultimate Dating App Guide, and my book **Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good.” —Carla Romo
Whether you’re swiping in Seattle or ghosted in Glasgow, Carla Romo is your virtual wingwoman. She works with singles across the globe, meeting them where they’re at—literally and emotionally.
Her approach is both accessible and effective. Through 1:1 coaching, Carla gets laser-focused on the specific patterns and pain points that keep her clients stuck. That might mean rewriting an outdated dating narrative, breaking free from codependent dynamics, or simply crafting a dating app profile that doesn’t scream “meh.”
But she doesn’t stop there.
Carla’s digital toolkit includes Swipe Match Spark, a refreshingly practical dating app guide (and the same one that helped her meet her husband). It’s packed with real-world scripts, swipe strategy, and confident dating tips that move people from “hopeful swiper” to “intentional connection-seeker.”
And for those navigating the deeper waters of emotional healing, her book Contagious Love helps break the cycle of codependency—because dating with clarity starts by loving yourself damn well first.
In short? Carla’s not just helping people date. She’s helping them date better—and with intention.
“Modern dating has completely shifted. We’ve gone from organic connection to algorithm-driven chaos. My clients are burnt out from swiping, confused by mixed signals, and stuck in a loop of almost-relationships. I help them cut through the BS, break toxic patterns, and date with clarity so they’re not just chasing chemistry, they’re building real connection.” —Carla Romo
Let’s just say it: online dating can feel like trying to fall in love at a Vegas slot machine. The flashing lights (hello, hot profile pic), the near-misses, the exhilarating “maybe this time!” energy—it’s addictive and exhausting all at once.
Carla isn’t surprised.
She sees singles hitting swipe fatigue on the daily. Burned out. Frustrated. Ghosted after three weeks of “good morning” texts. Or worse—stuck in limbo with someone who’s “not ready” but also won’t let go.
So, how do you break the loop?
Carla’s approach is refreshingly no-nonsense. She helps people zoom out from the drama and start asking better questions. It’s not about chasing butterflies (which can often be anxiety in disguise). It’s about clarity: What do I want? What patterns keep showing up in my dating life — and why? And am I confusing “chemistry” with “compatibility”?
This kind of work isn’t fluffy—it’s foundational. And it sets the stage for real connection over recycled chaos.
“Swipe culture can make even the most confident person feel disposable. I help clients shift from ‘am I good enough?’ to ‘do they meet my standards?’ My dating app guide Swipe Match Spark, (which is actually how I met my husband), gives the tools to own one’s worth, stand out on the apps, and date with intention. Confidence isn’t about playing games; it’s about showing up as your whole damn self.” — Carla Romo
Swipe culture is designed for instant reactions—but not for lasting impressions. Carla is here to flip that fast-paced script by anchoring daters in self-worth and intentionality.
📸 Want a dating profile that says this is me (in the best way)?
Book a session with me, Shannon Kathleen Photography, and let’s capture your most magnetic, confident self.
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“You’re picking… not being picked. Stop auditioning for love and start owning your standards.” — Carla Romo
Carla’s approach to dating is as refreshing as it is empowering. No fluff. No games. Just grounded, clear-eyed truths about how to date like someone who knows exactly what they want—and knows they deserve it.
Dating Isn’t a Race
You’re not behind. You’re evolving. Choose aligned connection over rushed timelines.
Here’s how she breaks it down:
This is the cornerstone of dating with confidence. Instead of twisting yourself into knots wondering if someone likes you, flip the script. Do you like them? Do they meet your standards? Carla encourages daters to get intentional and remember that dating is a mutual choice—not an audition.
That sinking feeling you had on the third text exchange? The hesitation you felt walking into that wine bar? Carla says: trust it. Your intuition is your greatest dating compass. If it feels off, it probably is. You don’t need receipts or a five-point checklist to walk away—you just need to trust your internal “nope.”
This one hits home for a lot of daters—especially those over 30 who are tired of hearing, “maybe your standards are too high.” Carla reminds us that the people closest to us might mean well, but they’re not living your love life. You get to define what “right for you” looks like—and stand confidently in that.
“You don’t owe your life to a timeline or society’s expectations—you owe it to yourself to wait for the right thing.” — Carla Romo
Carla doesn’t mince words when it comes to the pressure-packed world of modern dating. Too many singles—especially those in their 30s, 40s, and beyond—feel the weight of “should.”
Carla urges daters to drop the timeline narrative. Dating just because you’re afraid of falling behind isn’t just exhausting—it’s a fast track to unfulfilling relationships. And spoiler: being in the wrong relationship can feel lonelier than being single.
Instead, she encourages a new mindset: Don’t stay out of obligation. Stay only if it’s aligned.
Dating with confidence means trusting that you are not behind. You’re just on your own path—and that’s exactly where love will meet you.
Carla Romo’s message is clear—modern dating doesn’t have to feel like a game of chance. With the right mindset, self-worth, and tools, you can shift from passive swiping to intentional connection. When you date with confidence, clarity, and your standards upright, the right people follow.
And remember: the only timeline that matters is yours.
These tools, mindset shifts, and gut-honoring reminders are what turn hopeful swipers into empowered choosers.
Ready to show up with real confidence (not a blurry bathroom selfie)?
Book your dating profile session with me and let’s capture what makes you magnetic.
Curious to learn more or feeling ready to book? Send me a message or explore my full portfolio.
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I’ve been featured on CBS and a dozen other media outlets for my work helping singles feel confident and visible online.
👉 Check out my press + media features to see where I’ve been spotlighted.
Loved Carla’s insights on confidence and connection? Forward this blog to a friend or tag someone who might benefit. Because the dating scene doesn’t have to be a solo mission—you don’t have to settle or swipe in confusion.
Stay tuned for my next Expert Voices post, and remember: confidence, clarity, and self-respect aren’t just charming—they’re magnetic.
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What are the best confident dating tips in 2025?
The most powerful dating tip Carla Romo shares is: stop auditioning for love and start owning your standards. Whether you’re swiping or meeting IRL, the secret is to lead with who you are—not who you think someone wants you to be. Her advice? Trust your gut, don’t settle for “good enough,” and remember that being picky isn’t a flaw—it’s clarity.
How do I build confidence when dating feels so discouraging?
Confidence comes from clarity. Carla helps her clients shift from “Am I good enough?” to “Do they meet my standards?” It’s about flipping the narrative. Rather than worrying about being liked, start asking if someone aligns with your values, goals, and energy. That shift creates empowered, confident dating momentum.
Is it okay to walk away from someone I’m not sure about?
Yes. One of Carla’s most important confident dating tips is: just because you’ve invested time doesn’t mean you owe someone a relationship. If it feels misaligned, it probably is. Dating from a place of fear or pressure—especially the “I should be with someone by now” trap—is a recipe for burnout.
What makes Carla Romo’s dating coaching unique?
Carla blends emotional wellness and practical dating app strategy. Her signature guide Swipe Match Spark and her book Contagious Love help singles heal codependent patterns, boost their dating profile, and show up with clarity, humor, and confidence. She works internationally and virtually.
Why do confident dating tips matter more now than ever?
In a world of endless swiping and superficial matches, confident dating isn’t optional—it’s essential. These tips help daters navigate modern love without losing themselves in the process. The goal isn’t to be perfect—it’s to be intentional, self-aware, and authentic.
Where can I find more confident dating advice like this?
Follow Carla Romo on Instagram or TikTok, and explore her guide Swipe Match Spark. You can also read more interviews in the Expert Voices on Modern Dating blog series hosted by Shannon Kathleen Photography for even more confidence-boosting, profile-leveling insights.
Oh hey there, nice to meet you!
I’m Shannon, a Twin Cities-based photographer specializing in online dating portraits, personal branding, business headshots, and senior portraits. Whether you’re looking to elevate your dating profile, refresh your LinkedIn headshot, capture your personality for graduation, or build a standout personal brand, I’m here to create natural, confidence-boosting images that make an impact.
With 15 years of experience—and a personal journey as a single mom turned entrepreneur—I know the power of an image in telling your story. I create authentic, relaxed portraits that help you connect with the right people, whether in love, business, or celebrating a milestone.
Beyond photography, I’m passionate about mentoring fellow photographers through my Empowered Evolution Mentorship Program. From mastering SEO to building a profitable business, I help creatives turn their passion into success.
When I’m not behind the camera, you’ll find me soaking up moments with my son and husband, embracing the chaos of our beautifully blended family.
📸 Let’s create photos you’ll love! Whether it’s for dating, your career, or a milestone moment, I’ll guide you every step of the way to make sure you feel confident and relaxed. Spots fill fast—let’s book your session today!
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